he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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