in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
