Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
