when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
