he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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