Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize