So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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