Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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