bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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