She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
