I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
