I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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