If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize