Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
