I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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