I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
