took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
