my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
