You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
