I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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