let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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