who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
