dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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