This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
