I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
