i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
