How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
