She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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