Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
