"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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