Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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