Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
