I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize