oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
