You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
