Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
