mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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