Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
