I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
