It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
