Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
