nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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