Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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