I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This toilet bowl is my home.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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