so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
