mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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