Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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