gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
