Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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