maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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