apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My bed is full of blood and feathers
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
