Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
