Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
