I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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