I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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