Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
