SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I lost the right to judge tonight
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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