Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize