even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
