I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize