Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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