I just cut my nipple shaving
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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